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Psychic Daughter (Humour)

Updated: Apr 13, 2020

Bill is putting his young daughter to bed one night and as he walks out the bedroom door he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.”

Bill rushes back into her bedroom and asks her, “Why did you say the last part?” His daughter replies, “Because I needed to.” The next day, grandpa dies of a heart attack. Bill is worried about his daughter but thinks, “It must just be a sad coincidence.”

That night he tucks his daughter into bed again and once again he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma.” Bill is now really worried and thinking to himself, “Can my daughter really see into the future?” The next day, grandma dies and now Bill is convinced his daughter can predict the future.

For the rest of the week nothing happens, but on the Sunday night as Bill leaves his daughter’s bedroom he waits outside and listens for any more prayers.

Sure enough, he hears her say, “God bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy.” Now Bill is really panicking and thinking, “Oh God, I’m going to die tomorrow!”

The following day Bill is in a complete nervous wreck all day at work. He constantly checks the clock, looks around the room and is on edge all the time expecting to die at any moment. He is so nervous that he doesn’t leave the office until well past midnight. Once it turns midnight, he says to himself with relief, “How is this possible? I should be dead!”

He goes home and walks into the house to find his wife sitting on the sofa with a scared look on her face. She asks him, “Where have you been? What took you so long?”

Bill replies, “Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days” and he is just about to tell her what has happened when she starts crying and bursts out, “I saw the mailman die today!”

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